We all have dysfunction, baggage, junk, issues, "quirks." Some of us own ours. Some of us don't.
My question is simple. As an adoptive/foster mom or mom of a blended family, do you trust less after parenting your kids? Do their behaviors affect how you view others?
Unfortunately, I think my answer is yes. After being told lie after lie for years, as my kids begin to heal I have trouble trusting them. I want to but there is a voice nagging me to beware.
Is it possible to trust another person 100 percent? I don't think it is, for me at least. We are all humans, fallible and capable of making mistakes.
Does this "trust issue" carry over into other relationships? Is it possible to trust more?
How does this affect our relationship with God? I "know" that God tells us time after time in His word to trust Him. Day after day, I work on that process. That relationship. And I fail miserably. Not because God is not trustworthy, but because I am human.
What do you think? I don't have any answers, just questions.
I trust my husband completely. I can't trust our son at all. I agree that parenting trauma and the deception that goes with it makes me more wary of strangers. I too struggle with trusting God in my humanity. Our latest fiasco shows how much I need to grow in my trust of Him moment to moment. It is easier to trust in the big, overall picture.
ReplyDeleteI love this post!!!--I know I definitely have trust issues-- my mom lied a lot and I definitely think parenting has made my issues worse! --My little guy Levi at five lies to me all.the.time. it drives me crazy but we are working on it with him
ReplyDelete--but yes I find myself struggling with this--I fully 100% trust my hubby but I struggle with trusting other people
Hey Marty I wanted to tell you I am so sorry I have not gotten back to you--to be honest a lot is going on right now and in the midst of it all-- I tend to shut down --it is my coping skill and probably not healthy but--I tend to shut down and push everything away and when the storm is finished then I breathe again --please know we are in the midst of a storm right now (it involves my dear sweet Caleb) and I just have to get through and then I will be back to blogging chatting etc..just trying to get through
right now :)
I would say I trust my husband 90%, can't believe I'm saying that. but it's always in the back of my mind that you can't trust anyone completely! But, i know i can always trust in God, even though i don't at times. Most of the time I question Him. This was a great "thinking" post :)
ReplyDeleteI cannot trust my 10 year old Little Miss; yet that does not affect, at all, the trust I have for my same-age bio. son. My son has done nothing to cause me to distrust him.
ReplyDeleteHowever ... a year ago I found myself in a situation where I could no longer trust my husband (after 28 years of marriage). THAT has greatly affected my trust of other adults.
Because of the marriage situation, my relationships with my young adult children were significantly damaged. Relationships that I absolutely believed were strong ... shattered in a moment. Now, I have a very difficult time trusting any of my 7 young adults.
Sadly ... out of a dozen children ... I am left with only 3 that I can trust. Breaks my heart!
I didn't used to have trust issues ... now I don't know if I will ever be able to trust adult relationships. Oh.So.Sad.
Laurel
Oh, my land, YES! Parenting my kids made me jaded. Events (not directly related to my kids) of this past year threw me over the edge into a huge pit. I've never thought I was naive, but I know now that there was a time in my life that I very much was. Sometimes I'd like to go back. Other times I don't. Either way, whether I want to or not, I never will be again.
ReplyDeleteI guess I don't struggle so much in trusting God, but more in remembering that it's ok to turn stuff over to Him and that it ALWAYS turns out better when I do...and it always gets messy when I try to do it on my own...yet I keep doing it over and over and over again.